Fall pedaling

What is it about biking that makes one feel so free.

Today was cool and sunny with a strong breeze. Riding along, I could see the waves crash against the shore. Black Eyed Susans were blooming like mad as if it were the middle of the hot summer. Those blooms were one last gasp of summer, and I was taking one last ride of the season.

Lives

For the past couple of years, I have been following two very different blogs. Different in that one focuses on a young woman (a mother and wife) and her husband who were badly burned in an airplane accident. The other focuses on a 50+ year old man who serves as a deacon at a local church and has been suffering from cancer. Each writer writes in detail about their daily struggle. One describes the joys of raising 5 young children, the last of whom was born 3 years after the accident. The other describes the day-to-day realities of battling what appears to be a terminal and virulent form of cancer.

Each day I check in and see how they are doing. Is the chemo working? Has he been able to go back to work? What about his position as a deacon?

And what of the young mother. How are the children doing? Is the baby thriving? Is she happy to have survived but to being struggling with the stares of strangers and the future of many more surgeries?

It's a strange thing, but both blogs are the same in that both people are dealing with what must seem at times impossible situations. Ironically enough, both are incredibly hopeful people and it is rare to read complaints from either one.

Why then do I care? I can't answer that question. I guess it's a little like reading a soap opera. There's no sex and definitely no violence. What there is is a lot of hope and strength. It's amazing how strong these folks are. It is also amazing how each one continues on with the day-to-day routines of their lives. They take care of others. They enjoy new food. They react to the stories of the day. But perhaps they cannot share the deep emotions that they share online with those around them. I suspect it is a good outlet for them.

Maybe sometimes I need a little of their hope and strength. Thankfully, I am not dealing with anything even remotely close to what they are handling. But it doesn't hurt to see how others are living and struggling. That sounds very selfish, but it is not meant to. Perhaps I'm just nosey (I know that to be a fact). Perhaps there's just a need to know how others handle adversity.

Their humanness is raw. One can feel their abject pain and joy. Their lives go on while they struggle each day with their own mortality. Something that each one of us does each day

Hack, Hack, Hack...

Do you think it's possible to start coughing and be unable to stop? I'm beginning to think that's possible! Hack, Hack, Hack, Akkkkkk

Child Anxiety

What is it about a child that makes a parent anxious?

Is it a deeply egotistical need to convince ourselves that we have done everything right when it comes to raising them? Is it an evolutionary adaptation that requires us to protect our young from harm so that our species will continue?

I think for me it is a desire to keep my children from experiencing any of the pain that I have experienced in my life. I look at my son as he embarks on marriage and I worry that he will make the same mistakes I made and will experience the deep sorrow that I  have experienced. When I start thinking that way, I remind myself that along with the deep sorrow I experienced, I also experienced deep joy, not the least of which was the birth of this son (and his siblings). It is hard though.

I find myself holding back when I hear him express exasperation about this or that decision. I want to suggest that he solve it this way or that. But that cannot be right. We each make choices, some good, some not so good. We learn through our mistakes. He will have to do that, just as I did.

It's a funny thing about age. It is not possible to put the young into your "old" shoes and make them see life from your perspective, but then I do not want him to live my life. I want him to live his life.

Marriage is full of joys and sorrows. We want our children to experience the joys of marriage, and to avoid the sorrows of marriage. I know that I cannot have it both ways. I guess this must be where faith comes in. I must have faith that all will go well. I must have faith in my child that he will make the right choices.

For parents, life is full of child anxiety. I am learning.

Mistaken Identity or Who the Heck is Judy?

I went to a local restaurant to meet a friend of mine for lunch a few days ago. When I entered the restaurant, a guy sitting at the bar pointed to me and waved hello. I smiled and said hello back--I'm friendly like that.

As I looked around for my friend, the guy persisted and asked if I was looking for him. "Are you J....." I thought he said my name and I said yes and then thought perhaps I had met him elsewhere.

After a few seconds, I decided I definitely did not know this guy and I began to shake my head vigorously. "I'm not the person you're looking for."

But again, he implored, "are you J..." Again, I nodded yes, but assured him I wasn't who he was looking for. I suddenly realized he was saying Judy---not my name. "I'm not Judy. I'm Julie. I'm not who you're looking for." That didn't stop him though. As I turned around to leave, he stepped toward me and said "If the guy you're looking for doesn't show up, let me know and we'll have dinner."

Seriously? Judy--if you're out there. Drop this guy. He's waaaay too easy!!!