What I did on my snow day...

A Whole New Experience

The company restroom now boasts:

• automatic flush toilets
• automatic soap dispensers
• automatic water faucets
• automatic paper towel dispensers

Only the obvious is left...

Inside the Garage

Facebook is something I haven't quite figured out, but it has definitely brought back some memories of things and people I haven't thought about in a long time.

I joined a few months ago after receiving a request from someone. I posted the least possible amount of information about myself on my page as I could. My plan was to sit back and watch, but no, I couldn't do that. It's not set up that way.

My niece pinged me and became my first "friend." My nephew found out and became annoyed that I hadn't friended him. He became my second friend.

The next friend requests came from some of my colleagues at work. Even though I didn't really want to, I accepted them as friends. It seems odd to friend people who you see at work every day, but that's how it goes.

A woman I had gone to high school with asked "Are you the Julie from the Chronicle?" The Chronicle was the high school newspaper she and I had worked on. I added another friend. I was kind of into it. It was fun to see who else might turn up. I was amassing a decent number of friends.

Like bees to honey, people I had known in high school began approaching me (ok, that sounds a little arrogant, but you know what I mean, I hope). The most surprising came from a guy named Larry whose family had lived down the street from me when I was growing up. I have no memory of his parents, but I do remember him. I'm surprised he friended me because I was always running away from him.

He and his family lived in a big two-story house. It was typical of houses one might see in the Midwest. Behind the house was a big garage. It was a fairly big structure with large barn-style swinging doors. I don't recall there ever being a car in it. All I know was that it was big and empty. So what better place could there be than this to smoke and make-out?

I was always intrigued with that hang out, but I never went in. I come from a devout Catholic family and the fear of God had been instilled in me at a young age when it came to anything remotely related to sex. I have to admit it was pretty pathetic. All the neighborhood kids would collect and one-by-one enter "the garage." All of the kids, except me would go in for an afternoon of fun. Not me. I would wander to the back of the crowd and then slowly back away from the garage, round the corner, and run back to my house. To this day, I have no first-hand knowledge of what went on in that place. I suspect that my fantasies are far more interesting than anything that might have happened.

Late one summer, the fun in the garage ended. The neighborhood gang had decided to sneak out of town and go swimming in one of the big retention ponds outside of town. It sounded like it was going to be a blast, but once again, I ran home. The next day, the news flew through the neighborhood. Larry's brother drowned in the retention pond that day. The gang never again met in the garage. It was almost as if the entire neighborhood was frozen. The family disappeared into the house and a short time later, moved from the neighborhood. I never again heard from Larry or his family, until I was pinged on Facebook.

When he reached out to me, he didn't say anything about the garage or his brother. I wonder if he remembers the garage the way I do?

Now children...

It's an understatement to say that it is difficult to manage people in an office setting. I used to think I could be very good at it. I am an empathetic person who finds it easy to listen to others. I try not to be judgmental. I try to be open to the ideas of others. Turns out, these may not be the traits that make a person a successful manager. I'm beginning to think that I would be a more effective social worker than manager.

I have recently taken over the management of 5 people. Two of these people share an office and could not be more different from one another. There is an age difference, an economic difference (in terms of their backgrounds), and a huge difference in work ethic. The younger has inadvertently shared his views on work with the older staffer. I say inadvertently because it happened when the younger was talking on the phone to a friend in the presence of his office mate. The younger openly flaunts the already loosely imposed rules about hours and time off. He talks about freelance work he's doing on the side, sometimes during office hours. He routinely calls in with medical issues even though he appears to be a young, vital, and healthy fellow.

Enter the social worker.

The older has shared many of these insights with me. He is indignant about this fellow's blase attitude toward work. It infuriates him that this young fellow routinely works at home even though it is a perfectly accepted practice in our office and one that the older fellow could utilize himself. He is furious. He down right hates this guy! The problem is I cannot act on the information that's been gleaned from the office relationship. I have no first-hand knowledge of the younger fellow's comments. As far as I can tell, he completes his work in a timely way. And it is not against the rules to be arrogant or flip. It may be bad manners, but it's not against the rules. How many of us have had bosses who have been incredibly arrogant you-know-whats?

Can I really meet with this guy and tell him he's arrogant and being rude to his office mate? Somehow it seems like something his mother or father should have addressed when he was a child, but here I am in this situation. One "child" is annoying the other. The other sees no problem with his behavior.

I don't want to be their mother. I don't even want to be their social worker. I just want them to treat each other with respect and do their work.

I'm considering hanging a "your mother doesn't work here" sign on my door.

Dear Lizza

The smell of a dead animal of some kind (maybe a mouse, maybe a squirrel) emanated from one area of the office today.

In response, one of my colleagues sprayed air freshener throughout the office to mask the smell of the dead animal.

Because the smell of the air freshener (used to cover up the smell of the animal) bothered another colleague who is extremely sensitive to fragrances, another colleague cooked up a batch of popcorn to cover up the smell of the air freshener, which was sprayed to cover up the smell of a dead animal.

Did anyone call the facilities staff to get rid of the offending animal? Nope.

This reminds me of a song...

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, a hole.
Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, with what?
With some straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With some straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, some straw.

The straw is too long, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The straw is too long, dear Liza, too long,
Then cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, cut it.

With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I cut it, dear Liza, with what?
With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, an axe.

The axe is too dull, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The axe is too dull, dear Liza, too dull.
Then sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, whet it.

With what shall I sharpen it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I sharpen it, dear Liza, with what?
With a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
With a stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, a stone.

The stone is too dry, dear Liza, dear Liza,
The stone is too dry, dear Liza, too dry.
Then moisten it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Then moisten it, dear Henry, dear Henry, moisten it.

With what shall I moisten, dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I moisten, dear Liza, with what?
Try water, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Try water, dear Henry, dear Henry, try water.

From where shall I get it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
From where shall I get it, dear Liza, from where?
From the well, dear Henry,dear Henry, dear Henry,
From the well, dear Henry, dear Henry, the well.

In what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, dear Liza?
In what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, in what?
In a bucket dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
In a bucket dear Henry, dear Henry, in a bucket.

There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza, a hole