Hiking Queen, Not Yet

I have been learning the art of hiking. I say it's an art because I have found that there are many ins and outs that one should probably learn before jumping in and calling oneself a hiker.

First, there are the shoes or I should say boots. Think those sneakers are going to serve you well when you're out there climbing around like a mountain goat? No, they will not. One must pick boots that are either below the ankle, mid-ankle, or over the ankle. Who knew? Certainly not me.  It all depends on the type of terrain you will be encountering. Next, you must consider the weight of the boots, and that relates, ah hem, to the weight of the hiker. The sturdiness of the boots varies, depending on your weight. Yeah, light-weight gazelle that I am, I had to go for something a little heavier because I have, in the words of match.com, a few extra pounds.

Next, one needs to wear the proper clothing. I remember when I was in high school and college, I'd wear those super thick and heavy cotton long johns. No, no, no. No cotton is allowed. It's all about those poor little polyesters that must give up their lives for a polyester shirt. Turns out, polyester is a great material for hiking because it lets you sweat without getting cold. That's where the beauty queen aspect comes in. You have never seen me in a more stunning outfit until you've seen me in my polyester long johns.

You know that old real estate saying: location, location, location? Well, hiking is all about layering, layering, layering. The next layer should be some kind of fleece or wool. After that is the jacket. Windproof, waterproof, warm...the three Ls combined with the 3 Ws. I have yet to find the perfect combo so that I don't look like a total dork. And I hate to admit it, but avoiding the dork look happens to be important to me. My goal? Warm, yet fashionable. Take that fashioneestas!

How about the hat? I've given up worrying about hat hair. Hat hair is all the rage on the trail. The hattier, the better!

Poles? Yes, you should probably use those too. I thought I was being clever picking up a stick to help me on the path until I heard a "crack" as I was climbing over a downed tree. My trusty stick gave up the ghost and nearly took me with it. Poles are definitely in my future.

Well, that's all I've learned so far. Oh, and I've learned that hiking, real hiking, is a wonderful thing. How else would I have heard the smack of the snow geese wings as the geese flew away to escape the evil eagle that was lurking nearby? And birds...they're everywhere and I've really only seen a few.

So, help me tie up my boots and toss me that dorky hat. I'm ready for an adventure! There are more things to learn about hiking. I aspire to be the hiking queen!